Getting in a low mood is tough. It happens. I often had these moments where I would get in a funk. I still go through them today, they are rare (thankfully!) but I am not perfect. I learned a few months ago how having a positive mind and spirit will absolutely change everything. The following is what I have learned to boost my own happiness.
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Life is not conspiring against us.
The more you truly accept that, the better your life becomes. Patience is incredibly difficult when you are going through something rough whether that is a breakup or not getting the dream job you wanted. Patience is hard nevertheless, if you are patient you will see how life works with you instead of against you.
There may be some things that do happen randomly, out of our control, and are extremely unfortunate however for the most part, I do believe my life is a series of choices. I choose to wake up happy, I choose to make light of the small things (like when my son purposely throws his food on the ground and smears his face and hair with it while giggling :), I choose to react or not react to people’s comments, I choose to show my love and appreciation for people regardless of how I get treated in return. These aren’t just things that happen to me. I make choices every step I take throughout my day.
Choose things and thoughts that genuinely make you happy. Have faith that you are on the right path. If it feels right to you, it is the correct path.
Stop focusing on what your life is “supposed” to be and follow your version of happiness.
If life occurred the way it was supposed to, I know without a doubt I would not be here and my son would not be here either. I can’t even imagine a life without him so I am beyond grateful my life did not turn how it was “supposed” to. You create your own standard of life, you choose how you want to live. You pick what you want in your life, you choose the order of it all, you are in control. If you choose to live a happy, stress-free life, you will.
Life does not always go as planned, almost never for me, and that makes life exciting.
Accept the cards you have been dealt, accept reality.
Acceptance is crucial. I see many who get stuck in this rut where they are upset, bothered, or angry with their reality so much so that it does not allow them to move forward. To not accept reality seems silly when you think about it because you cannot change the past and there is literally nothing you can do, reality just is. I have definitely been in that head space where I was stuck in this hole of why me, why this, why that, or I am so angry because of this thing that happened months or years ago. Instead of spending your energy on things you can no longer change, shift your focus to what you can do. Focus on how to move forward and do so.
When I say accept reality I do not mean to just lay back and let things occur because you cannot change them. If you have the power to change something you do not like, you should change it, I am only speaking of things you no longer have the power to change. There is no use in putting energy into something you absolutely cannot change.
Know that you can only control yourself.
This goes along with putting energy into things you can actually change. We, yes I have done this before, tend to place our happiness in someone else’s hand. Why do we do that? Again, it really does not make sense to do that when you think about it. We are setting ourselves up for failure by placing our happiness in someone else’s hands.
If that person or those individuals do not live up to our expectations we are going to crash down into a funk. We do not have the power or ability to change other people (unless there is something I do not know about, if so, please share!). Since we cannot change others and we cannot control others, we should not depend on others to change or to make us happy.
It sounds super cheesy but you must be happy with yourself. No one else will give you that 100% of the time. If you can sit with yourself alone and be happy, there is nothing greater.
Do not compare yourself to others.
This has been a huge lesson for me. It is tough not to compare yourself to others because of how exposed people are nowadays, I get it. I am all about finding people who inspire you, and who motivate you. However, if you find you are breaking yourself apart by comparing yourself to another that is not okay. This is not about being conceited but it is about being confident. I tell myself no one can surpass me. No one can surpass me because there is no other me. I am the only me there is so how could I be envious about someone else when that other person can never be “more” than me. I hope that makes sense.
Do not focus on being better than somebody else, focus on being better than you use to be.
Stop listening to most.
There is so much out there in movies, music, shows, etc. that perpetuate this idea of us needing other people to be whole. The “you are my other half,” “I can’t live without you,” and the “I need you” may sound sweet to some but I realized these messages are not exactly great. Someone else is not my other half, I want someone to add to my life but I am not half empty. I am whole already. I can live without others, I will be fine without them. I do not need anyone. I want people in my life, I want to live and experience life with others, I want to enrich others’ lives but someone else is not a necessity.
Carefully choose what you feed your mind.
Change your mind.
I completely believe in the idea of whatever energy you put out in the world returns to you. I have seen it too many times on both ends not to believe it. The more positive you are, the more positive things you will attract. Even if you have to fake it at first, I trust you will see how your positive spirit will change things.
There is a beautiful quote by Wayne Dyer which states, “if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
I say that quote to myself at least once a day. It is so true. Reread it, practice it, and see the changes that occur. You really can shape your life through your thoughts.
Letting go is true freedom.
Let go of everything that gets you down. You don’t have to literally let go of tangible items (unless you want to), but let them go from your mind. Attaching yourself to stuff whether that be material things, people, or ideas I do not believe serves us well. If we attach ourselves to things, the moment they are gone we spiral down.
Start small, let go of things little by little and you will feel lighter. The more you let go, the freer you become.
Meditation saved me.
There is a true beauty to stillness. You can do guided meditations which you can easily find on YouTube or you can meditate alone. You can meditate while laying down in bed, you can sit up on a chair or on the floor. It can be a couple of minutes or an hour long. You choose what works for you.
There are not enough words to describe what meditation has done for me. It allows me to leave the world for a bit and focus on myself. Focusing on my breathing clears my mind of all stress, all things, and keeps me present. Before meditation I always heard people say to be present and I had no idea what that meant. After mediating, I now understand what being present means. It is hard to describe what it is like exactly but I know it is beautiful. Not thinking of before and after yet instead focusing on the now is amazing.
I would suggest guided meditation to start off since you will be guided on what exactly to do. Put on your earphones and drift away. I feel so relaxed and in the best state of mind after I meditate.
Tao Te Ching
Some consider Taoism a religion, others a philosophy. I study it from a philosophical view and I enjoy it. The book Tao Te Ching (click here to get) has open my mind to many things and has helped me TREMENDOUSLY when I get down. I do think it is worth looking into at least regardless of your religious background. It is a quick read, and enlightening. I won’t say too much on it but it is worth a look.
This post contains affiliate links. For more information, see my disclosures here.
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