Why I Don’t Want To Cut My Son’s Hair

Why don’t I want to cut my son’s hair? Because my son’s hair is beautiful. Am I bias? Of course.

I wish the answer to the question was that simple. The answer has so many layers not only to my own history of having curly hair but to so many others with curly hair. I hated my curly hair as a child. It was always a hassle (at least I thought it was then). I thought it was hard to detangle, hard to style, and frankly, never thought it was beautiful. I take accountability for those thoughts. I do not like to blame others for my own perspective on my own hair. Is the ideal beauty in America natural, big, curly hair? No, but that is okay, to each its own.

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The fact that it’s not the ideal beauty is not what bothers me. What bothers me is when people use their own perspective to insult or downgrade my child. I understand their perspective is exactly why they are doing it, but that does not mean I approve of it. I am Hispanic, Jet’s father is black so being in an interracial couple alone has its own struggles. To then add a child into the mix, I knew I was going to come across certain issues once my son was born.

My son was born with pin straight hair, I thought he may inherit my father’s texture because his hair is straight. I did not think much of it, to me he is just my baby who is living. Others though seemed to care.

Some told me some things like “oh just wait, it will change” with a tone as if a disaster was coming along. I think the people I came across initially were either happy his hair was straight and “beautiful” or people were hesitant because they assumed Jet would have PJ’s (Jet’s dad) hair texture with some time. I have never directly seen people so invested in someone else’s hair until having my son. And I am not saying it is a horrible thing, but it is something I took note of.

Time passed, and his hair did change. Saw waves form, then curls started to develop. His curls are between PJ and I’s. Tighter than mines, looser than PJ’s. This is when things got a bit more interesting through my observations.

First thing people mention about my son when they see him is his hair, it never fails, really never. Again, not mad at it; I truly find it fascinating. It makes sense when you think about it since it frames your face and his hair is beautiful. I would never be upset with people complimenting a beauty. What I do mind is when people are thankful (for whatever reason) that he came out with the “good hair.” What does that even mean? What makes a curl or hair good? Or the worst … “Oh I am glad he didn’t come out with nappy hair.” That makes me cringe.

I understand the basis of their thought and where it unfortunately comes from, but I do not understand how people cannot get passed that mindset.

It took me years to embrace the hair I have. By my junior year in high school I can safely say I rocked my big curly hair like there was no tomorrow. In fact, many knew me because of my hair just as many know or recognize me through my hair today. I love that. I am not my hair, but my hair is part of me.  Once I learned to not care about what others thought of my hair and stopped seeking approval from anyone else but from the person I see in the mirror, things got easier.

When people make comments all it shows is their core, it says nothing about me or my son. All I ask for is respect. I hope that people will just be more conscious of remarks or comments they say, especially around a child. I do not take them personally, but I do fear the time when my child begins to understand these comments because of the possibility of him disliking what comes out of his own scalp is present. I hope to raise him in a way where he will not take these comments personally either and realize the comments are not about him, but about the person saying these comments.

On a more uplifting tone, best advice I can give anyone who may be struggling with embracing their curls because they really don’t like the way it looks, or you think it is hard to handle is to try different products! Try different brands, don’t give up. Keep searching and learning about different brands until you find one that truly nourishes your hair and keeps it healthy.

I personally LOVE Shea Moisture for my hair. I use their Coconut and Hibiscus Curl Enhancing Smoothie along with their Coconut and Hibiscus Curl & Style Milk. Click over to check them out. They work wonders for me. I love how natural it is and it gives my curls a natural look compared to other products where it leaves a crunchy and an extra shiny appearance. (My fellow friends with curly hair, you know what I mean : )

As for my son, I am still using Curls baby products. They have an awesome baby line of hair products. I use their Peek-a-Boo Tearless Shampoo, their Patty Cake Conditioner, and their Ring Around the Curlies Leave-in Conditioner. I know they have cute names right?! And they smell delicious! This is another brand that is natural, and the focus is on really nourishing your hair instead of just “taming” it. It leaves my son’s hair soft, bouncy, and the conditioner makes detangling much easier!

I do not want to cut my son’s hair because there is nothing to fix. His hair is healthy, it does not bother him, so why would I? To please who? I want him to embrace the hair he has, I want him to not feel like he has to hide because of his curls, I want him to love his hair just as much as I want him to love every other part of his being.

Have you struggled with cutting your child’s hair, if so how did you handle it? Were you pressured into cutting their hair regardless of texture? I know as moms we can get attached to their hair, and I know I must cut it eventually, but I am going to let it be when it is an actual necessity or when my son wants to. After all, it is his hair. He should choose when he wants to, not have others dictate that decision for him or for me.

This post contains affiliate links. For more information, see my disclosures here. 

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