I dropped out of law school that’s it I said it. Today I’m going to be extremely honest with you guys and explain one of the biggest decisions of my life so far.
I was super excited when I got accepted, I remember I cried reading the acceptance letter. I couldn’t believe I made it. I was excited but of course, nervous. My first year I was definitely stressed and anxious a lot of the times because 1) I overthink a lot and 2) I’m just such a perfectionist when it comes to academics. Recipe for disaster I know.
I ended up being really stressed out (obviously) to the point where I literally gave myself a stomach ulcer. I didn’t know at the time, but I had a few anxiety attacks because I was thinking so much about school. But again, that was my fault, my flaws.
I don’t want this to deter people from attending law school, it’s not my intent at all. I want to be very straightforward and say I would highly recommend law school to anyone who is interested and wants to go.
If it’s something you’re interested in, it’s really something you see yourself pursuing as a career then do it.
There’s this misconception that law school is incredibly hard, and I don’t think it is. It’s not easy but it’s also not extremely difficult. I believe pretty much anyone can go to law school, it’s more so about your discipline.
It’s not difficult but it is time consuming.
But that’s just like with anything else, if you’re going to be committed to something you must really be committed in order to do well. If you’re not committed, if you’re not disciplined, then of course it’s going to be difficult for you.
I made it through my first year, my grades were decent I wasn’t failing. Some courses my grades were average and other courses I was above average, so it was a mix. Overall, I felt proud with my first year in law school.
The turning point though occurred when I became pregnant.
This was right in the middle of my law school career, it wasn’t planned. Even so, I thought it was going to be fine. I thought I would take some time off I’ll get back into it, finish law school, get into my career, be a working mom, it’s all going to be good and well. I thought to myself this happens all the time moms go to work, have babies, it’s fine no big deal.
Boy was I wrong because everyone is different.
When my child came into my life my perspective changed on a lot of things and my career being one of them.
I have such amazing support from my family, I know I could have graduated, could have went on to a career where I have great stable income for my family. But I was wrong about how I thought things were going to turn out.
Not to get ahead of myself, I took two semesters off in order to have a stress-free pregnancy, focus on the delivery, raising a new born, and taking time for my new family.
I returned to school when Jet was nine months old. That was hard.
I thought I was going to miss out on certain things, freaked out a bit when it came to breastfeeding but thankfully everything turned out okay on that end. I was performing well. I was still doing well in all of my courses, there weren’t any negatives on paper but slowly I just started realizing that a career in law wasn’t fulfilling to me anymore.
I found a new purpose in life and that’s okay.
I want to be home for my son, I want to guide and aid him in his development. I want to teach him things, I want to homeschool him, I want to be there for him while not having the stress of working for someone else or not having flexible hours.
Now could I have found a part-time attorney position with an awesome firm that’s family friendly and would be flexible with me because of my situation, maybe? But it’s simply not the life I wanted to live anymore.
I could not do it all and I can’t do it all.
There’s been this movement that has been going on for a while of women really taking on the role of bread winners at the home and or having these amazing careers while also having children and I think that’s awesome, I think that’s beautiful.
That may work for many families and I thought I was going to be one of those families.
I know in my heart I could not be a great attorney and be a great mom at the same time.
So, I chose to be a stay-at-home mom on my terms. I spoke to PJ about it and made a decision together that I would stay home with Jet.
To some it may be the biggest and dumbest decision I’ve ever made in my life since I’ve invested a lot of money into law school and I didn’t have that long to go but I was over it, I really was, I was over being unhappy.
I took a leave of absence this past year to really figure out if I wanted to leave with 100% certainty. My reasoning was a mix of what I stated above, and Jet was also having some medical issues. I felt like this was the moment for me to really step back, make sure Jet is okay while also giving me the chance to see what life would be like without school or just being a stay-at-home mom every single day of my life.
The leave of absence mark was expiring, and I had to make a decision of whether or not I wanted to return.
And I officially withdrew.
I officially withdrew from law school a couple of weeks ago and I don’t regret it. It was one of the best things I did for my family and for myself.
Thankfully I’m blessed enough to be in a position in which I can stay home with my son and be there for him because I understand there’s a lot of women out there that even though they may want to be stay-at-home moms, they can’t because they need to feed their child at the end of the day.
I don’t want this to be me bashing people or me thinking the other moms who do work are “bad” because it’s not, it just wasn’t for me. As previously mentioned, I thought I was going to be that mom who had a great career, would see my son in the morning, after work, and on the weekends, spend quality time but it wasn’t for me and that’s okay. I’m sure there’s women out there where being a stay-at-home mom is not for them and that’s okay too.
I wanted to write this post for people who are interested in going into law school. If you find joy in learning about the law like I do and you see yourself living the life of a lawyer, then please go to law school.
But I also made this post for the ones who feel pressure to go to law school or have gone and decided to change their mind midway and decide it’s not for them anymore.
It’s okay if it’s not for you anymore.
We only have one life to live, at least I’m aware of, don’t waste your time doing something you’re not excited about.
Plans change, intentions change, and purposes change. Don’t beat yourself up over it.
Remember that every single thing that’s happening is happening perfectly as it should.
Follow your gut and don’t let others influence you one way or another. Do what you feel is right for you. Stop wasting your time being unhappy and unfulfilled in your life.
I’m grateful for the life that I live now, I would have settled had I become a lawyer.
I hope this helped you in any way shape or form. If you have any questions or comments please let me know, I would love to hear from you!
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