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Hard Questions to Ask Yourself Epi 1 #projectlearnyou

08/4/2018

Check out these Hard Questions to Yourself Episode 1 #projectlearnyou #learn #mindfulness #mindset #love_yourself #meditation #selfcare #selflove

Hey friends!

I decided to take on a project on Instagram’s newest feature, IGTV, and give it a try. Below is the transcription of episode 1. If you want to watch the video instead head over and find me @motherhoodhappened, thank you guys for always supporting me! I am looking forward from hearing from you guys your answers and any questions you think I should add! #projectlearnyou

Episode 1 

Hey guys welcome to my channel! So, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and observing that we tend to (and by we I am including myself) learn about other people, admire other people, follow other people and see what they’re up to in their lives and what’s their day to day like and I know for myself, I’ve been feeling like I need to learn more about myself. This is where this idea sparked.

I decided to write down a bunch of tough questions that I wanted to answer for myself and I thought why not share them with you guys. They’re going to be hard, they’re tough questions but the point is to learn more about yourself which is something I feel like we are lacking. We’re at a place where we are so consumed by other people and we’re not really learning about ourselves. So I wrote all these questions out a while ago, decided to write them on my laptop, print them out put them all in this bowl right here. I decided to make a series out of it. I’m going to call it ProjectLearnYou. I’m going to randomly pick out these questions and try my best to them. And the point is to not only challenge myself, but by you hearing this, by you seeing this video, I hope you can ask yourself the same questions.

I am completely nervous to be honest with you guys. To put myself out there is not like me, to put myself on video and express my thoughts to you guys but I think it’s something I need to do. Not only will it force myself to answer all these questions and really think thoroughly through them, but I also feel a purpose to share with all of you.

A bit about my background just so you can kind of understand more of my perspective on things. I am currently twenty-six years old, I have three other sisters, come from a huge family, I have a two-year-old named Jet and his father and I are no longer together however, we still live under the same roof. He’s still my best friend to this day, there’s no bad blood or anything like that so I understand that my perspective is going to be a bit unique. But I think everyone’s perspective is unique if you really think about it.

That’s just a bit of my background so you kind of understand how I answer these questions, they may or may not relate to what I just expressed. So, let’s just get into it! I’m kind of excited, kind of nervous but I think it’s important to do so let’s do it.

In what way are you your own worst enemy?

I feel like this is literally something that I’ve just been dealing with today so I’m going to answer from the top of my head, I’m so hard on myself. I think I over think a lot, if I make the smallest mistake, I will carry that tiny, stupid mistake with me for years or throughout the whole day. I drag it out and I beat myself so much but it’s so stupid. This is such a silly example but there was an embarrassing moment for me in high school where I used the wrong word in a sentence, that word did not mean that AT ALL. It was a negative word, and I kind of used it in a positive manner, and I will never forget to this day. I always hold it, I cringe a bit thinking about that thought. These are thoughts I need to let go of, what’s the point of me remembering that memory, why has it stuck with me for so long, and what am I so hard on myself about it? It literally makes no sense.

Why it relates to so much today [because] there was something I miscommunicated with or something I didn’t communicate well with PJ the other day (PJ is Jet’s dad) and that miscommunication caused other events not to happen. I’ve been really hard on myself these past couple of days [telling myself] dang Mary you could have said better this way, you could have relayed the information better that way and this would have never happened. But I can’t think of the should of, would of, could of anymore because it happened, get over it Mary, move on. Of course, easier said than done.

Own worst enemy, for sure. I don’t let go of my own mistakes and I need to. I need to forgive myself more, and that’s hard to do I get it, but I need to forgive myself more.

Repin this FREE 7-Day Mindfulness Challenge! #mindfulness #mindfulnesschallenge #mentalhealth #happy #happiness #meditation #meditate #mindset #mentalhealthawareness #freecourse #motherhoodhappened

Do the ones you surround yourself with add value to your life?

This is a good question. I would say, yeah. I keep a very close circle. If you know me, I don’t really have friends like that. Of course, I communicate with people online but other than my family, I don’t really have friends. And all of the family members that I hang out with they definitely add value to my life in some type of way.

This is a really important question to ask yourself. If they’re not adding value to your life, kick them out. It’s not worth to keep, whether its negative energy or people that literally do nothing for you, especially if they just bring you down there’s no point in having them in your life.

Ugggh I did not want this question to come up.

What do you feel most guilt about?

I don’t know if I am ready for this question. Okay this is a little strange; I feel guilt but I don’t regret it. When I was much younger, I got pregnant with my ex (not PJ it was another guy) and I had an abortion. That was really hard for me because I didn’t really want to do it and it was tough. It was a pretty traumatic experience, it took a lot for me to get over it. I did feel a lot of guilt. I thought a lot of what could have been, but I am also very grateful for that experience now.

Not only did it make me grow up a whole lot, I started to see people differently. I definitely got more jaded after that experience, but it grounded me in a way, so it wasn’t necessarily completely negative. I got to see people’s true colors from that experience and I feel guilt, I feel like I haven’t forgiven myself completely, but I am also grateful because I recognize the fact that had I not done that I would’ve never had my son currently. I wouldn’t have the life I have now. I am so blessed to have the life that I have now, I would never have PJ, I would never have my son had I kept that child at that time.

My life would have been totally different, and I know that one hundred percent. I am working on forgiving myself little by little, its still something that runs through my brain (not everyday but it does come up) and its tough to get over. Even though I know it is such a controversial topic, I think it is really good to get support from one another. I wish I would have gone to some type of support group or something like that while I was going through it because it was super tough on me especially at the age I was in.

What are you most grateful for?

The most simple or probably cheesiest one would be my mom. Literally without my mom I would not be on Earth. But that can go back so many generations. If it wasn’t for my grandma my mom wouldn’t be here therefore, I wouldn’t be here. All of the generations really, I’m just glad that I am on Earth and I have my son and I have PJ. I can list PJ, Jet, my mom, sisters, etc.

What are you most grateful for? You know what, scratch that. I think I am most grateful for me and PJ separating because from that experience I grew tremendously. I became self-aware, I felt like I woke up, I’m conscious now of certain things that I wasn’t before. And I am incredibly grateful for that because I don’t think I would have woken up so to say at the age that I have had I not gone through the break up that I did. It was a hard break up, had ugly moments but we made it through and we are so good now, so it may have to be that break up honestly.

Are you waiting for someone else to solve your problems?

That’s a tough one. It’s very real, because I know people get into scenarios like this. I think I’m at the point where I recognize that any problems I do have come from me, they come from within, so I have to look within in order to solve them. There is no outside influence that is going to help me regardless and once I’ve accepted that, and once I put it all on me life got much, much, much easier because I wasn’t able to point the finger at someone else or wait on someone else to help me. Once I learned to help myself and get through certain things it made the ride of life smoother.

What risk would you take if you knew you could not fail?

This is a heavy one because I think a lot of people don’t take certain risks because they’re so scared of failure. I honestly would probably take out a business loan for my blog and really establish it well and really create the brand and business that I envision. Could I do it now? Yes. I do not necessarily need all the money in the world for it. Would it make things easier? Yes. So, if I knew that it would not fail at all I would probably get the money, get more help to make the process faster.

Do you love yourself as much as you expect others to love you?

Hmmm. I don’t know. I could say “of course I love myself!” But I don’t think I am there yet and I am okay with that answer. I’m a work in progress. I do wish one day I get to the point where I love myself as much as other people love me because I do recognize the love from others and I recognize how others view me, but I need to get to the place where I see myself that way. And I don’t yet and that’s okay. I see myself gradually getting to that place.

I need to continue not giving a f*** about what people think of me and that’s really hard because I come from a place where I care way too much, I’m a people pleaser, I care way too much about what people think or say about me whether that is on my looks or my opinions, my thoughts. There was a time where I cared TOO much and I feel myself slowly not giving any f**** anymore but it’s not one hundred percent there yet.

Are you living your passion?

That’s a really good question to ask yourself right now. I thankfully can say yes. I am a stay at home mom, I am able to see my son every single day, I’m able to work on creative projects like this. I’m able to freely do what I want to do and that’s amazing. I am so blessed to have that life, but I would say I am for sure living my passion right now, I’m free. I get to really be involved in his life and I couldn’t be happier with that. But then I also have this other side of me where I like to share. I like to be very private in that sense and keep my home my home and just have us three do our own thing and be together. But then I also have this other side of me that’s a bit more creative and I feel like I have a lot of thoughts that I know I need to express to the world in one way or another and I am able to do that through here or through my blog and soon a podcast.

It’s nice to have that balance, privacy of a home base but also able to share what goes on in this brain of mind to other people like you. I’m very blessed to have the life that I currently live, is it perfect? No but am I happy waking up every single day to the life that I have? Absolutely. I think that is beautiful, I think that’s freedom. To be able to do what you really want to do everyday is amazing.

As always, thank you so much for reading! If I provided value to you and you want to support my work, please head over to my Patreon here. For $5 a month you can directly help me continue providing content for you! 

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Hi there, friend! I'm Mary and I'm delighted you came across my blog! I take joy in connecting, and sharing my experiences with others to provide value to anyone I can. My story is a rough one but it is also one that turned positive and I hope it can help others. We may cry, we may laugh but what I can guarantee is growth. I write about food, fitness, mindfulness, self-awareness, and overall things I have learned to become the best version of myself.

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Taking a look at yourself to see where you are in Taking a look at yourself to see where you are in terms of self-esteem can serve as a good check-in and self-reflection. You may find things you are struggling with come from self-esteem and recognizing it is something you may have to work on. If you have to work on it, that's okay. 

So many unwanted or unhealthy behaviors and experiences may stem from having low self-esteem. I think whether you are looking to change something about yourself, your job, overall having healthy relationships with people comes from a strong foundational basis of healthy self-esteem. 

Taking a look at yourself to see where you are in terms of self-esteem can serve as a good check-in and self-reflection. You may find things you are stuggling with come from self-esteem and recognizing it is something you may have to work on. If you have to work on it, that's okay. 

This is not something individuals only struggle with within those awkward middle school years (the worst!) but it can be something you struggle with on and off depending on multiple factors. 

Check-in with yourself and check in with others around you! 

Stay mindful, ⁣
Mary ⁣
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⁣⁣P.S. Use the information I share here as a guide. Everyone's experience is unique so some strategies, information, or opinions might not be relevant to your specific situation. Please see the disclaimer in my highlights.
Signs you are in a toxic relationship may not alwa Signs you are in a toxic relationship may not always be the easiest thing to spot when you are in a relationship. Many times we look back and recognize the signs and signals we have missed. I get it. 

Some signs are well hidden while others are not but I still think it is an important conversation to have.

If your partner is attempting to socially isolate you, that is not a good sign. Perhaps it is presented as just wanting to spend with you and heck it may even sound sweet but it is something to watch out for it is happening often. Separating you from your loved ones is separating you from your support. 

Not feeling like you can be yourself around them is HUGE. Just like any other kind of relationship, you should be able to be yourself and not be judged. 

There is always some kind of stress associated with things we care about so I understand if there is some stress at times during a relationship. But if stress is constantly present in high levels that is definitely something to look further into.

Lastly, if you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around your partner to avoid conflict there is something there that may have to be looked at. I always say a successful relationship is one where they know how to argue and have discussions. If you are tip toeing around something to avoid conflict, it is time to leave or look further into it to work on those feelings and where they stem from.

What do you think are other signs of a toxic relationship?

Stay mindful, 

Mary 

⁣⁣P.S. Use the information I share here as a guide. Everyone's experience is unique so some strategies, information, or opinions might not be relevant to your specific situation. Please see the disclaimer in my highlights.
💔Why do breakups make you crazy? Breakups can m 💔Why do breakups make you crazy? Breakups can make us feel like we are losing it. It's a tough experience. 

✨You are grieving what you thought would last, you are doubting your own abilities and capabilities, and are having overall a difficult time adjusting. 

✨You are human, allow yourself some grace. 

✨Let's take the steps to grieve then move forward. You got this! 

Follow me @_marygissellbarahona to get more valuable content regarding relationships and moving past them!
✨How does coparenting work? It can be complex, b ✨How does coparenting work? It can be complex, but I think it can be simplistic if you work your way there. ⁣
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✨It may be obvious but always keep in mind the children. This coparenting relationship is really about them and not you at all. We have to take our own egos out of the way and make decisions and choices based on what is best for them. ⁣
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✨In my family I view the father of my child as family, he is family to me and I know not every coparenting relationship is like mines but I am comfortable in saying at the very least a coparenting relationship is one of a team. I think we often forget this. Even if we lead different lives, at the end of the day we are a team with a goal in mind of raising these human beings we created to be healthy individuals. Keeping a team mentality even though we are romantically separate is crucial.⁣
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✨A lot of patience and empathy is needed just like any other team effort. We have to recognize that not everyone thinks and acts as we do, let's be patient about that. ⁣
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✨I always live by the saying of I will never regret being kind to someone. I stand by that so I try my best to live by that. People may consider that being a pushover or 'weak" but so long as I can sleep peacefully at night it is fine with me. Creating healthy boundaries, as mentioned in yesterday's post, is possible while being kind. I would hate for you to regret something that may have lasting negative effects so keep kindness in mind whenever possible.⁣
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How do YOU think coparenting works? Let's chat in the comments! ❤️
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Stay mindful, ⁣
Mary ⁣
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⁣⁣P.S. Use the information I share here as a guide. Everyone's experience is unique so some strategies, information, or opinions might not be relevant to your specific situation. Please see the disclaimer in my highlights.
✨Setting boundaries when coparenting is not the ✨Setting boundaries when coparenting is not the easiest thing at times. Especially in the beginning of a coparenting relationship when you are trying to establish those new lines. There is a learning curve and that is okay. ⁣
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✨Creating boundaries will be essential to this new relationship for the sake of all parties involved. ⁣
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✨Arrange times to talk about your children, schedule it and follow through with it. Avoid, if possible, discussing things at drop offs and pick ups so it does not feel rushed and the child(ren) is/are not witnessing it. ⁣
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✨Keep your personal life personal. Keeping your personal life to yourself and not questioning about their personal life is important. As long as something is not affecting or involving the child there is no need to speak on it. This avoids jealously or resentment issues. ⁣
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✨Perhaps later on the coparenting relationship can be more relaxed and friendly but initially I would recommend keeping it transactional and formal. You want to establish those lines and be firm with them. It is something both are adjusting to and the process is easier if we stay within our boxes initially. Once things are more settled things can be more flexible. ⁣
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✨Thankfully in my situation I never had the temptation of looking at social media because he is not present on social media but i can see how it could be detrimental. PLEASE stay away from looking at what your coparent is up to. Mute them, unfollow them, whatever it is you have to do to avoid feelings of missing out, envy, or allow you to mess with your decision making. ⁣
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✨Coparenting is a topic I am really passionate about learning and teaching because it is something I have had to deal with for years. There are ups and downs but if you stay within the boundaries you set up, things are a lot smoother. ⁣
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❤SAVE this post as a reference to return to!⁣
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✨If you are interested in more parenting topics, subscribe to my parenting/wellness blog newsletter @motherhoodhappened you can find it on the second link in my bio :) ⁣
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Stay mindful, ⁣
Mary
✨Being cheated on may mess with your psyche TREM ✨Being cheated on may mess with your psyche TREMENDOUSLY. It is not an easy experience to go through. ⁣
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✨There is a huge sense of not feeling good enough for anyone, feeling less than, not worthy. Aside from the toll it takes on your confidence, it can also feel really embarrassing, there is shame present which is unfortunate. ⁣
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✨It can also make you feel guarded and like you can no longer trust anyone and frankly, feel hopeless about the future.⁣
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✨It is an experience we hear occur so often we do not stop to think of the harm it does to someone. It affects individuals differently but it can take affect their entire lives so I think it is significant to talk about. ⁣
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✨I want you to know that you CAN move forward from the effects of cheating and move on to a more fulfilling and hopeful life. ⁣
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✨Share your experiences below and SHARE this with someone you think would resonate with! I want our community to be a safe space for us to talk about our experiences without judgment and to help one another out. ⁣
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Stay hopeful, and stay mindful :)⁣
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Mary ⁣
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⁣⁣P.S. Use the information I share here as a guide. Everyone's experience is unique so some strategies, information, or opinions might not be relevant to your specific situation. Please see the disclaimer in my highlights.
💔Do you think cheating can be justified??? Just 💔Do you think cheating can be justified??? Justified basically means good reason so in other words, is there a good reason to cheat?⁣
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✨There are often exceptions to a rule but in generality, HELLLLLL NOOOO⁣
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 : ) ⁣
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✨However, actions have reasons and I think we often forget this. ⁣
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✨There is such a stigma with cheating we often forget their side of the story. Doesn't excuse them, doesn't make it okay but know they are imperfect humans just like we are and there are internal reasons for their actions, they need healing too. ⁣
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✨Do you agree? ⁣
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Let me know what you think in the comments!!! ❤❤❤⁣
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Stay mindful,⁣⁣⁣
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Mary ⁣
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⁣⁣P.S. Use the information I share here as a guide. Everyone's experience is unique so some strategies, information, or opinions might not be relevant to your specific situation. Please see the disclaimer in my highlights.
💔 Can cheating be forgiven??? I know this conve 💔 Can cheating be forgiven??? I know this conversation can be controversial but I do think it's worth to think about because there is a lot of stigma behind it whether towards the one who cheats or the one who forgives a cheater. ⁣
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✨I think cheating can absolutely be forgiven and there shouldn't be shame attached to forgiveness especially if you are not the one doing the forgiving. ⁣
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✨BOTH parties have to be willing to work for the relationship to be restored. If one person is not interested or willing to fully commit to the healing, it's not going to work. ⁣
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✨For the one who cheated, it takes a great deal of owning responsibility/accountability AND being open to dealing with the emotions that come with the pain caused from your end and your partner's end. ⁣
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✨For the one cheated on, it takes a lot of acceptance AND allowing the other person to be remorseful. Many times we do not allow that, understandably, but with time and working on yourself if we want to move forward with the partner we have to allow the other person to be remorseful and believe they are. ⁣
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Share this post with others you think would find this helpful! ⁣
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Let me know what you think in the comments!⁣
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Stay mindful,⁣
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Mary ⁣
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P.S. Use the information I share here as a guide. Everyone's experience is unique so some strategies, information, or opinions might not be relevant to your specific situation. Please see the disclaimer in my highlights.
✨When do breakups get easier? That is one of the ✨When do breakups get easier? That is one of the many questions we want to know when going through a breakup. I think one of the biggest things that can help us is really allowing ourselves to feel the emotions, and stop trying to shove them down and avoid them. ⁣
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✨When we sit with our feelings we get to experience them, we get to deal with them, and get to see how they pass. ⁣
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✨These are not easy tasks by any means but it gives us a pathway. ⁣
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✨Sitting with our feelings, rediscovering our happiness, and becoming whole by ourselves can be incredibly empowering. ⁣
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✨If you are interested in learning more about this head over to my link in bio where I offer a FREE mindfulness course where I go over in more detail about becoming aware of our emotions, sitting with our feelings without judging them, and forgiveness among other things. ⁣
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Stay mindful, ⁣
Mary ⁣
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P.S. Use the information I share here as a guide. Everyone's experience is unique so some strategies, information, or opinions might not be relevant to your specific situation. Please see the disclaimer in my highlights.
🧠What do breakups do to your brain? Breakups ar 🧠What do breakups do to your brain? Breakups are painful and there is a sense of loss and a void present when a breakup occurs. But why? ⁣
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✨Oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin are known as love hormones. These are present in high levels when there is love present in a relationship. ⁣
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✨Once that relationship is gone, these neurotransmitters drop which leads us to behave in different ways. We may become isolated from others, anxious, or even depressed. ⁣
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✨Our brains are so desperate to replace these chemicals that sometimes we may do almost anything to fill the void. Sometimes things we may not be proud of later. (It's okay, sometimes it's part of our process no shame!!) ⁣
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✨Being aware that these chemicals are dropping or have dropped can make us more proactive to actively choose healthy activities to boost these chemicals up again.⁣
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✨We all heal differently after a breakup but being aware of what is happening in our brains can help the process. ⁣
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✨Share this with someone you think would find this useful! ⁣
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Stay mindful,⁣
⁣
Mary ⁣
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P.S. Use the information I share here as a guide. Everyone's experience is unique so some strategies, information, or opinions might not be relevant to your specific situation. Please see the disclaimer in my highlights.
✨5 Common Causes of Break-ups. Break-ups are tou ✨5 Common Causes of Break-ups. Break-ups are tough. It is usually not just one thing that causes a break-up but a multitude of occurrences and things. ⁣
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✨Cheating deals with breaking trust. Trust is incredibly hard to rebuild, it is possible to do, but once the trust is broken it may lead to a break-up because of how heavy it is. Trust is a HUGE component to a relationship's foundation therefore, once there is a crack it is up to the parties in the relationship to possibly seek help and see if this foundation can be fixed. Cheating is detrimental to a relationship but may be repaired if wanted with some help.⁣
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✨We often hear communication is key in a relationship and it is. But many of us struggle with communication. Frankly, some may not even have the vocabulary to communicate effectively in a relationship. Sometimes individuals are on separate pages entirely. Working on talking and actively listening to your partner is so important. ⁣
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✨Affection and attention are important too. We may not want to come off as "needy" but as humans, touch is important to us. It is okay to want affection and to give affection to the ones we love. There are many reasons why people struggle with this so finding the root is crucial to solving this issue. Same could be said for a lack of attention. ⁣
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✨When a partner is not being supportive that can feel horrible.  When a partner is not supporting you when you are stressed or sad it can come off as you are not worthy of their energy. That can lead you to feel worthless or like you lack value. Learning to be supportive (yes it can be learned) will be something to do if you want to keep the relationship. ⁣
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✨Oh man comparing your relationship to others can be super detrimental! There are so many perfect displays of relationships nowadays, especially with social media, that comparing your relationship could be the end of your relationship. Remember one of my favorite sayings "the grass is greener where you water it" Try your best not to compare your partnership to someone else's highlight reel. Nothing is always what it seems. Focus on your relationship without the comparisons. ⁣
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P.S. Please see my disclaimer in my highlights.
✨Are anxiety and depression the same thing? Not ✨Are anxiety and depression the same thing? Not quite however, they can co-occur. I often hear anxiety and depression paired together which many do experience together but I also want to point out that they are two separate things. ⁣
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✨Anxiety deals with excessive worrying, demonstrating avoidant behaviors, racing thoughts among other things while depression deals with hopelessness, loss of interest, feelings of worthlessness, fatigue, among other things. ⁣
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✨But they do share somethings like difficulty concentrating and trouble with sleep whether one is sleeping a lot more than usual or a lot less than usual. ⁣And sometimes one can lead to another as well.
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✨ Share this post with your friends to spread awareness on both anxiety and depression. They can occur separately, occur together, but however it presents be sure to follow up with a mental health professional. ⁣
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Stay mindful, ⁣
Mary ❤⁣
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P.S. Use the information I share here as a guide. Everyone’s experience is unique so some strategies, information, or opinions, might not be relevant to your specific situation. Please see the disclaimer in my highlights.
✨What do anxiety attacks feel like? They don't a ✨What do anxiety attacks feel like? They don't all look alike, they take many forms. For me they felt like I was having heart issues. I saw so many specialists and no one suggested the idea of seeing a mental health professional or the possibility of it being anxiety or stress related.⁣
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✨When I thought I had heart issues it was about five or six years ago so I am really hoping currently doctors are doing a better job in talking about mental health with their patients. Again this was simply my experience but I do want to encourage you to seek help if you know something is not right,  and continue being an advocate for yourself. ⁣
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✨Continue attempting to find the root of the issue if you have experienced something similar to what I did. Know that anxiety attacks can lessen and be managed and always call for help when you are experiencing one. ⁣
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✨Have you experienced anxiety attacks? What helped you in the moment? Let me know in the comments ❤⁣
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P.S. Use the information I share here as a guide. Everyone’s experience is unique so some strategies, information, or opinions, might not be relevant to your specific situation. Please see the disclaimer in my highlights.
✨Why does anxiety come and go? We all have diffe ✨Why does anxiety come and go? We all have different anxiety triggers. It is normal for us to have moments of high anxiety and low anxiety. ⁣
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✨We are not able to totally eliminate anxiety, or eliminate the feeling of a roller coaster but we can make that roller coaster a bit smoother. ⁣
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✨Learning about our own triggers could be helpful to manage our anxiety. Aside from working with someone professionally, I would recommend starting a journal. Journaling may help you pick up patterns and possible triggers that led to your more anxious moments. ⁣
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✨What practices have helped you to learn or find out your triggers?⁣
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P.S. Use the information I share here as a guide. Everyone’s experience is unique so some strategies, information, or opinions, might not be relevant to your specific situation. Please see the disclaimer in my highlights.
✨So you are ready to change. You have the discip ✨So you are ready to change. You have the discipline, you have the motivation, you have your goals, you know what you have to do. However, you begin to realize the people around you are not happy with the changes you have made or about to make. ⁣
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✨This happens more often than you think. Others are so used to you being a certain way so when that begins to change they begin to push back. It may not be ill intentioned but it does happen. ⁣
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✨Acknowledge that there may be pushback, be prepared for it, and keep pushing towards your goals. People adjust and if people do not adjust to your change, do not allow that to stop you from your path of bettering yourself. You know what is best for you, be confident in that. ⁣
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✨I felt like the biggest failure when the father ✨I felt like the biggest failure when the father of my child and I separated. It was a really rough part of my life and I went through some of the hardest moments of my life. ⁣
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✨There was such a huge sense of failure I just could not shake. The relationship ended because of some issues he had to deal with as an individual but I could not help but continuously blame myself. ⁣
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✨I felt like I failed as a partner, I failed as a mother, I failed to keep my family together, I felt like I failed at life. ⁣
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✨It took a while to detach myself from that kind of thinking but it was liberating when I finally did. ⁣
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✨Just because the relationship was broken, it does not mean you are broken (even though sometimes it feels like it), just because the relationship failed it does NOT mean you are a failure. ⁣
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✨Detach your identity from the experience you went through. Seek professional help if needed, but please debunk your own thought, you are not a failure. Pick yourself up and take the lessons from the relationship.
✨Sometimes things are unclear in a relationship. ✨Sometimes things are unclear in a relationship. Sometimes there is a miscommunication. Maybe you are in a middle spot between dating and exclusivity. ⁣
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✨I know there are times I have felt insecure about asking for clarification. Sometimes you can feel nervous to ask about where you stand. Sometimes things are unclear when there is an argument. ⁣
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✨You shouldn't feel "needy" or "too much" when asking to clarify something. Many times issues come about when we do not ask for clarification. ⁣
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✨Ask questions in your relationships. If you are unsure about something, ask! We are curious beings, it is okay to question things for knowledge, peace of mind, and or safety.⁣
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Let me know below if you have dealt with feeling "needy" asking for clarification! ❤
✨Can we normalize celebrating ourselves without ✨Can we normalize celebrating ourselves without seeming like we are full of ourselves? Why is that seen as being of ourselves anyway? ⁣
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✨You should be proud of your accomplishments. This world is freaking tough at times, and the fact that you are not only surviving but SUCCEEDING (whatever success means to you) is amazing and should be celebrated!⁣
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✨No waiting for others to celebrate you, celebrate yourself! 💃
✨Not feeling good about yourself stems from mult ✨Not feeling good about yourself stems from multiple areas. For me, it is often picking my body apart. ⁣
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✨I have some loose skin from my pregnancy, I have discoloration or hyperpigmentation in some areas, and yes I ABSOLUTELY have cellulite. Oh yeah I forgot to add dealing with acne at times (frustrating!) ⁣
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✨I would be lying if I said those things do not bother me. They do at times. They do the times I focus on them and focus on them with a lens of negativity. ⁣
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✨These things do not make me more or less of a worthy individual and that is what I have to keep in mind. ⁣
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✨We have to do a better job valuing ourselves and that includes valuing our bodies too. My skin protects me from so much yet I find myself often mad at it. ⁣
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✨My skin, my body, my appearance do NOT make me or you worthy as an individual.
✨Caring what others think feels like my identity ✨Caring what others think feels like my identity at times because it feels like I have always allowed what others say and think affect me. But it's not my identity nor is it yours. ⁣
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✨You do NOT have to allow what others think or say affect you. It is easier said than done, trust me I get it. ⁣
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✨However, I do think there are small steps we can do to start. Let's get to know ourselves better. ⁣
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✨I believe the times we struggle are the times we are most disconnected with ourselves. ⁣
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✨Keep your values in mind, know or learn your interests and be confident about them, and last but definitely not least is to become comfortable without all the noise. Sitting in silence alone is probably the scariest but most peaceful things I get to do. Spend some time with yourself. ⁣
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Let me know down in the comments if you agree! ❤
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