Of course, life changes after baby! If you are expecting, first of all, congratulations! If you are thinking about having a baby or just curious about the topic, welcome!
This is how my life changed after having a baby (hint: it changed for the better 🙂
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1. Ready to do absolutely anything.
The first thing that changed and was immediate when your baby comes out of your body is that you are ready to kill or to be killed for that child. There’s an incredible amount of emotions, you have this rush of protection mode and you are ready to protect that child, that will come instinctually.
I know a lot of women out there, I included when I was pregnant, are not really sure if these instincts that everyone talks about are really going to happen for you. I can say on my end they did, you just know what to do and if you don’t you figure it out.
2. Appreciation for your mom.
This happened very quickly, especially in the newborn stage. I began to see what it really takes to care for a baby. It is a lot. I began to think “Wow, my mom did this for me.”
You get a different perspective. There is no way of knowing what a parent really does, or what your parents really did without you being a parent yourself.
Overall, there is mutual respect between us and I am very appreciative of her.
3. Lack of time. DUH.
The next thing is that there’s a lack of time for yourself. I’m sure you already know this but there’s lack of sleep, showering is a privilege (especially when they are newborns), you’re definitely not going to be able to use the bathroom alone anymore at least not in the few years. No privacy.
Life isn’t solely about you. You have to think of the big picture.
Yes you can set aside time to go out, have a sitter or family member watch your baby while you go have “me time” however, it’s never the same compared to when you were a person of your own because as much physical distance you may have from your child, you always have another human being in the back of your mind.
You are thinking how are they doing, are they being cared for well, did they eat, are they on track with their sleeping schedule, etc. All of these things run through your mind no matter what, you’re always thinking about someone else forever now. It’s hard to explain but you can never really be truly, truly relaxed and do whatever you want because you have a child to care for now.
4. Planning is CRUCIAL.
This is a big one. You must plan before leaving anywhere. I would say give yourself a leeway of 30 minutes because things take FOREVER whether they’re babies or even toddlers … it’s a mess.
They may need another feeding or perhaps they are toilet training and they need to use the bathroom one more time right before you lock the door, or your baby just exploded poop everywhere and now you have to change their clothes, change the diaper, maybe even give a bath.
It’s not even just trying to get out the door, but when you actually go in the car there are the car seats to strap them in and the stroller to put away or open up, it’s just a lot of equipment and a lot of things that you need for these little people.
Give yourself a good gap of time of wherever you need to be for the just in case because the just in case is probably going to happen more than 90% of the time every single time you trying to go out.
5. Change in mindset.
I’ve always been a paranoid or cynical person however, now I see the world as incredibly dangerous for kids. It’s a really scary world out there, especially for kids, and you start thinking more about their problems after becoming a parent.
You also think about how things are a bit riskier on your end because not only are you trying to protect yourself when you’re out there but now you are trying to protect a child too and that can be a lot of pressure on someone.
That can be a lot of pressure especially if you’re a single mom or you’re simply out and about alone with your kid, it’s always something to worry about.
But at the same time, having a child has also grounded me in a lot of ways because I get to see how amazing the world really is through his eyes as cliché or cheesy as that sounds, it’s true. You get to see the really simple things that they enjoy and you get to then experience the same simple joys yourself.
I watch him process things and think about things and it’s amazing how incredible we are as human beings but then also how incredible life is.
I also started thinking about death soon after giving birth as odd as that sounds.
I feared death on my own selfish terms in the sense of not knowing what comes next, I don’t know in which way I’m going to die, am I going to feel pain, if I’m not going to feel pain, where do I go, what happens and all of that but now after having Jet I fear death because it made me sad thinking that I know one day I’m going to pass and I’m leaving him behind.
6. Diet changes.
I did start eating better. I didn’t have an incredibly unhealthy diet (thankfully to my mom another appreciation for her) but I eat even cleaner after having a kid because first with breastfeeding I knew whatever I ate was affecting him or would affect him so I had to make sure that I was eating the very best in order to give him the best through my breast milk.
Then when he started solids and he weaned off breastfeeding I knew I had to practice what I preach. If I’m giving him the best foods and trying to feed him a well-balanced, then I have to as well. I follow the 80/20 which you can check out my free How to Eat Healthy Guide where I go over exactly what foods I eat.
7. No sick days.
Let me let you in on a rude awakening. When you’re sick it doesn’t matter anymore. If you are sick it is what it is, you still get up and you have to care for your child. As a parent, the sick days of lounging around and not do anything are long gone. I mean of course if you have the help when you are really, really, REALLY sick and someone can come over and watch your kids then great, that’s amazing but usually, you power through it.
8. Body changes. Bladder changes?
For me, things still look the same down there, if you know what I mean.
It still looks the same, it still feels the same it’s not like it magically gets bigger because a baby came out of there. Perhaps it is because I had one child, maybe if you have multiple it does change I am not sure, but for me, after having one kid it went right back to being its normal self before I had a child.
After giving birth everything contracts back down, from my understanding there really shouldn’t be anything too different.
There is a really tiny gap between my abs running down the middle and that’s not necessarily something that bothers me but it hasn’t completely closed. It’s really small but I can tell the difference. And this is not a post-pregnancy body issue, a lot of male and female bodybuilders also get this issue if they work out or not work out in certain ways so don’t think this is something that will absolutely happen to you.
I had no bladder issues at all, I can hold in my pee just as long as I did before and I never really have an issue with that. However, this may be the too much information part but for me, after birth I do have an issue with my bowels movements. I can’t believe I am even typing this. But let’s just say when a girl has to go number 2 a girl HAS to go. I can not hold it. I have no idea why, I totally would have thought I would have an issue holding urine but it is the opposite for me.
9. Relationship with your partner.
The relationship with your partner is going to change but it doesn’t have to be in a negative way at all. Your relationship will be tested because of how new everything is, your lack of sleep and simply learning about this baby who is essentially a puzzle you are constantly attempting to figure out. But it is something I think you and your partner can most definitely work through.
Here is a post I wrote about related to this about reconnecting with your partner after having a baby that I think will be helpful to you if you are concerned about this at all.
I think your child has the potential to really bring you and your partner together and have a closer bond if you already had a strong foundation more than it has the potential to pull you guys apart. Going through pregnancy, going through the birth itself, having a newborn in your hands, you now have developed this amazing powerful bond with each other that it’s going to be really hard to break, if ever.
It can be hard to maintain a strong foundation especially if you’re worried about a baby 24/7, but the way I always view it is the foundation is you and your partner, and if that foundation cracks, the house itself is demolished. So always make sure that you are finding ways to keep that foundation as strong as possible.
These were significant changes for me, I am sure you will experience different ones! Let me know down below if you have any questions about this exciting time in your life, I would love to answer!
This post contains affiliate links. For more information, see my disclosures here.