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MHP 005: Imagine You Were Taught … (Show Notes)

05/25/2019

Check out this podcast episode on imagining if we were taught differently how that would impact our adult lives, and get some insight on the struggles of being an empathetic person! I admit something so embarrassing! #podcast #mindfulnesspodcast #mindfulness #mindfulmeditation #meditation #motherhoodhappened

Click here to hear the episode:

Hey guys welcome to the motherhood happened podcast. By the end of the show, you will begin to see how our teachings from a young age impacts our adult lives and what we could possibly do to change things up for our kids.

I will also share some things I am not proud of but had to face being an empathetic person and an empathetic mom. So, my empaths out there, stay tuned, I think you will be able to relate a whole lot. With that said … let’s begin.

I hope you’re doing well. There’s been a lot going on, on my end. I was out sick for a week which is why there is a gap between this episode and the last. But I am back now which makes me happy.

I feel and see a lot of changes coming which is good, but it can also be overwhelming at times.

Overall, I’m grateful there are exciting things in the works. As I always say, when your passion matches your actions, you’re in alignment. And when you’re in alignment, that’s when the good stuff happens.

Speaking of alignment, it’s insane how I really only learned what alignment is, what alignment feels like in the past few years. I’m thankful for the knowledge, but I can’t help but think of the kids growing up now and how different life would be had I been exposed to certain information as a child and as a teenager.

This brings me to my first question of the day: what do you think should be taught in school or what do you wish was taught aside from the usual main subjects?

I have this conversation with my sisters often, and the first two things I would say is to teach kids about taking care of themselves and second, how to get help when needed. It sounds like that doesn’t go together perfectly but hear me out.

The first part of teaching kids to take care of themselves. I know in my experience I have been taught to take care of others primarily. To be kind, to be generous, to be polite, to be selfless.

As amazing as all that sounds, what does that really do when you aren’t taught to take care of yourself first? The outcome may end up being a person who is insecure, disingenuous, confused, naïve, a person who is stepped on often. That was me … and that still is me at times.

The characteristics I listed first are great and should be taught but not taught at the expense of yourself. That’s where I see the issue, and I see it often.

Perhaps I will be judged for this, but I never told Jet that he has to share his food for example.

Anytime someone asks something of him, say a piece of a snack he is eating, and he says no, I would never ever correct him and say he absolutely has to give someone else that piece of snack. It doesn’t make sense to me. It’s his food, and I shouldn’t have to force him to give to someone else that’s asking.

This post contains affiliate links. For more information, see my disclosures here. 

Repin this link on the new Motherhood Happened Podcast! #motherhoodhappened #podcast #podcasting #howtopodcast #mindfulnesspodcast #momlife #meditation #mindfulliving

Does that mean my child isn’t kind? No.

Thus far, without me teaching him anything when he wants to share with someone, he will naturally say, “here you go” without anyone telling him or the person receiving the food asking. Or there are times he is asked, and he says yes willingly with a big smile on his face because he is happy to share in that moment and wanted to do so.

That makes me happy because in that moment he actually wanted to share. There wasn’t some kind of dilemma in his head if whether or not he should because of guilt that he has to do a certain thing in order to be “good” or looking for the approval of someone else versus his own natural desire to want to keep it.

I love that he is confident in his answers. And I never want to destroy that.

I am the same way when it comes to his toys. Hate me, but I am not the mom who constantly tells my kid that he has to share his toys. Now, if we are in a public place where it’s not his personal property then, of course, there are turns and he has to understand that.

But if it’s his toys, I would never butt in and say he has to share or correct him if he’s defending himself verbally because someone took his toy away from him. I really don’t butt in in general unless there is actual physical danger involved because I do want him to learn to stick up for himself. But once again, for us, it ends up with him willingly sharing his toys with other kids without me saying anything.

He always has at least two cars in hand wherever we go. If we are heading to the playground, he runs to a kid to give him or her a car to play with willingly. It’s his way of introducing himself almost and an invitation to play.

Now maybe that will change, and maybe it won’t but as of right now I honestly feel that the best course of action is to encourage him or maybe not even encourage him but not discourage him from being selfish in some ways and that will then lead to selflessness. I think they find the happy medium.

Selfishness has a negative connotation, I get it. I think I’ve spoken about this before. But imagine if we were taught that it is okay to be selfish. I am not saying it is okay to be an asshole or to treat others horribly, but what is wrong with treating yourself, sticking up for yourself, sticking up for what you want instead of worrying about what others want?

Imagine if we actually thought of our needs and wants first? Imagine being completely confident when you say yes, or when you say no? I will go more into this question in a bit, but I want to quickly mention the second point I said and that being, being taught how to ask for help when needed.

We are taught to give, and give, and give to others but then what the heck happens when we need the giving? We aren’t taught to ask for help right? At least not in my experience. You don’t know where to go or where to even begin.

You don’t want to seem weak. You don’t want to be needy. We aren’t taught that asking for help is okay. I understand wanting to be independent, but there is also this beauty in humanity that we really do need each other especially during horrible times.

You may be thinking hold up Mary, you just said you wouldn’t teach kids to be overly kind by forcing and conditioning them in a way, yet you expect people to want to help when someone needs it? And the answer is yes.

I think if we let people be, we can sway and are able to sway both ways.

I think it’s natural for us to be selfish, but I also think it is natural for us empathetic and kind. Everyone has different levels of each, but I do believe both sides are in us.

When we are conditioned or taught that you have to be kind no matter what or that you do not ask for help no matter what, that is where I see the trouble. It’s the rigidness of it all.

I know schools give out resources, phone numbers, websites, etc. to students if anyone ever needs help. I am sure they do. But what’s missing is the gap between the student and actually picking up that phone and calling, or doing the research, or staying behind to talk to a teacher, as examples.

It doesn’t even have to be something as serious as a mental health issue. It can be a student struggling with a subject. Many kids feel ashamed to ask for help. They don’t want to look stupid in front of their peers, or in front of their teachers.

Again, it’s this idea that needing help is a bad thing, it’s a shameful thing. They rather suffer than set aside their pride.

Perhaps more programs geared toward teamwork or having team building activities could help. Or simply even being more detailed in what is taught.

What I mean by that is, from what I remember in textbooks we usually just get the outcome, the accomplishment. We don’t read or learn about all the little steps, all the other people or things it took for that one accomplishment.

We see Apple, for example, we think Steve Jobs, we think the iPhone, we don’t think if all of the people, all of the things needed to have Apple be Apple today. Steve Jobs didn’t do it completely alone. We all need some kind of assistance.

The most successful people know how to ask for help, know how to use resources wisely.  I can almost guarantee that every single successful person on this earth has needed and asked for help in some way, shape, or form.

That is what needs to be taught.

Imagine if we taught kids that one of the main components to success is setting pride aside and asking for help when needed? It’s almost held like a secret for the wise ones to figure out eventually, but why not instill that in kids early on? I believe it would have a positive effect in so many ways.

Quick side note: Even though there are things I wish was taught to me at an earlier age, think about what you are grateful that your parents or school did you teach you?

One thing I have been thinking a lot about and have to give my parents a huge applause for is never making me feel like a victim.

I know people will have different perspectives on this which is okay, but I come from a family of immigrants. I am so so so grateful that my parents never ever told me, or never alluded to the fact that certain things cannot happen for me, or that certain things will be that much harder for me because I am a first-generation child.

I knew I was different. I knew I was different from my peers. Was it difficult? Yes, of course. But never once did the idea of not being able to achieve something or excusing my failure on my background ever come up in my head. And I thank my parents.

I never have thought and never will think that I cannot achieve something just because my parents came from nothing because they have what some may consider funny accents because English isn’t my first language because I don’t have the privileges and blessings others do. I am not a victim. If anything, my background has pushed me so far, because I want to be proud of myself, make my family proud, and show that I can do whatever I set my mind to. I’m grateful and proud to be a first-generation kid.

Perhaps we should add not teaching victimhood. Our parents and schools should uplift us and not tell us we cannot do something because of x. I think it does our kids a disservice.

Now they have a crutch or excuse to point to for the rest of their lives. Now I understand there are horrible things in the world and there are actual victims out there.

But I feel like now more than ever before especially with the climate of things, for us to really see a change in our country, shouldn’t we teach our kids to achieve and reach for greatness no matter what?

To keep pushing, not give them something to point to as a fallback. Let me know your thoughts, I would love to know honestly. As always, it’s all about perspectives. Maybe I am not being sympathetic. What works for me may not work for someone else.

But something in my gut is telling me that instilling this blame game in our kids isn’t benefiting them in the long run. But I could be wrong.

Oh, how about emotional classes? I think that would be an amazing one. Kids spend the majority of their awake time in school I presume yet aren’t taught about emotions. And maybe it’s best for any of these teachings I’ve been talking about to be taught at home, so take the questions as home or school. Let’s do it interchangeably. What should be taught overall to kids? Let’s say that.

But like I was saying, envision a class of some kind that taught us about relationships. About how to handle breakups, how to see and know your self-worth, how to understand different feelings that come up especially as a teenager.

Learning about setting and receiving boundaries. That’s a big one. Imagine really learning at a young age that no means no?

This one really strikes me as crucial. It’s one that kind of bugs me.

Raising a little boy right now, especially in my Hispanic culture where everyone gives kisses on the cheeks when we say hello and bye every single time, I struggled with the balance of tradition and also making sure that Jet’s voice is heard.

There are times he doesn’t want to kiss people, and I have to make sure people respect his no.

If he doesn’t want to greet people with a kiss in Spanish, he would be known as “malcriado” or basically a bad or misbehaved kid. But how am I supposed to teach him that no means no when no one respects when he says no?

Kids are people too and we should respect their boundaries especially when we expect them to respect ours and to pay attention to us.

Again, if it is something that will likely cause him physical harm, I will definitely not respect his no, but I have to be conscious and aware with his interactions with people. I have to make sure I do not interrupt him when he’s setting his own boundaries with people so then he can receive the boundaries others give him whether it’s now or in the future.

I think many of us see kids, not as robots or not human, but I don’t think we treat them just as we would another adult where there are times, I think we should.

Teaching kids at a young age that it’s okay to set up boundaries, and it is not okay when someone else crosses them, even if it your own mom or dad that crosses them, I think is healthy. I think it’s needed.

Kids should also be okay with hearing a no and respecting that no.

Teaching kids about handling rejection would be amazing. Unfortunately, many people, kids, and adults fly off the handle when they experience rejection. Teaching kids to accept rejection is crucial for life, I think.

So many tragic, unspeakable things occur because of not being able to handle rejection and that sadness me. It saddens me because something must have happened or not happened to that individual that couldn’t handle the rejection and that perhaps could have been prevented.

Ehh I get overwhelmed at times talking about stuff like this.

At times I honestly hate that I am an empathetic person. You feel so much from so many directions that it is difficult to digest or break down.

I’m going to keep it real. Perhaps my other empaths out there can relate. It’s funny or I guess it makes sense why I am so passionate about this episode because I’m trying my best to avoid or fix my downfalls and teach Jet certain things to avoid going through what I did and somewhat still going through.

I have such a hard time saying no. Empaths have a tendency to want to make others happy no matter what. Others go first.

I naturally find myself wanting to give and cater to the needs of others which is fine, but I do it at my expense. And that’s not okay.

I have got to be kinder to myself. Especially as a mom, I struggle because I feel at times, I even think of others needs before the needs of my own family. I hate saying that, but it is so true. I hate it. Please let me know if anyone else out there feels the same. I feel like such a horrible mom by admitting that. But I do have that conflict in my head and sometimes I choose the others instead of my own family which really stinks.

Being an empath, I also have a hard time leaving my home. It’s my safe space. I try my best to avoid public places. It just drains me out. But one positive thing, depending on how you look at it, I can always tell when someone is lying to me or when someone feels very uncomfortable. I’m able to read people easier because I feel it essentially. I can pick up on the signs pretty easily which can be good at times but also overwhelming in others.

I got sidetracked, but just know I am nowhere near perfect. I have days I am feeling anxious, other days I feel great.

This brings me to meditation. I know I have spoken about it before, so I won’t spend much time on this. But how awesome would it be if meditation was actually part of a student’s day on a daily basis? Similar to a gym class where they can meditate for the first ten minutes. Or in the beginning of their day, they will take a breath first period and they do that. I think that would be really cool if schools were to implement that on a daily basis.

Just teachings kids to consciously breathe. That’s all it is. That would be so cool.

But for you guys, I did want to let you know guys know I did partner up with Aware. Aware is a meditation app. I’ve been using it for about a month now and I am sincerely happy with it.

I think it is an amazing tool especially for beginners since it is a guided meditation. You are able to try 7 days completely for free which includes a foundation course, what they call energizers, and singles for waking up and sleeping.

What I like about it is that’s organized. It’s set up like a timeline. It has an order; every day is a different topic or focus and it will remind you on your phone daily about the meditation that you should complete. You can set up the reminder for whatever time works for you.

Head over to my show notes at motherhoodhappened.com/session005 to find out more and get your exclusive 50% off code on your first subscription.

(Click here to get the app and use code: AWARE50 if you decide to subscribe)

If you do decide you like it after the 7 days, it is super affordable. As of today, monthly it is only $3.99, and yearly $29.99 so add that 50% off and you are saving yourself a lot of money and trouble.

What I really like about this company and why I partnered with them is their genuine want to help people through meditation. They told me even if any of my followers aren’t able to afford the subscription to contact them and they will help you out. They also offer Aware for free for people diagnosed with mental health problems which is amazing. Again, head over to my show notes at motherhoodhappened.com/session005 I will list all the information there.

Aware Contact Information if you need assistance: contact@awaremeditationapp.com

It’s worth a try, and if you do try it let me know how you liked it!

I am excited for you guys; I really do believe this is something that is going to be helpful for you.

Now we are moving on to the last segment, Project Learn You which is where I take a question from a bowl I have here, it’s the first time I will be reading it, and I will answer it on the spot and then challenge you guys to answer it as well. Let’s see what we get today.

In what way is wanting for a result to happen preventing you from enjoying the journey?

I think this is something a lot of people deal with because whatever goal is, it could be weight loss, or it could be financial goals that you have in mind, I definitely think that longing or the wanting of it, the desire so bad that you have in your head like you just want it, you want it, you want it, it’s taking you away from the actual process.

The process is what you should be enjoying because I feel like once we actually achieve whatever it is, you may not think so but once you have it, you’re just going to want more and you are going to want more. So I don’t really think it’s the end goal that you really are striving for and if you are I feel like you’re going to have a really hard, sucky time getting there, if you even end up getting there because you’re not enjoying the actual process of it all.

If you’re not seeing the positive side to it however sucky it may be, the hustle and grind trying to get to the end goal, if you’re not enjoying that process, it’s going to be really hard for you.

I know for me 1) definitely financial goals, there’s things that I want in my head. one day I want to be a homeowner, one day I want to have a space large enough for Jet and to have a playground and have all these things for him.

But if I was just think of that all the time, I’m definitely guilty of thinking about it there’s times where I can just dream for a few minutes a day and I just think about it like oh it’s going to be great whenever I get X Y and Z right?

I think it’s normal, but too long for it so much that it takes away from the actual process of me not being present, me not you know enjoy the hustle and work that I’m doing right now let’s say what this podcast or with my blog or figuring out different strategies and how to increase traffic into my website, like learning all these new things that I have been learning throughout the years.

If I didn’t find that fun, I don’t think I would ever get to my end goal to begin with and I would just be miserable, frankly.

So I think whatever goal that you have in mind now, try your best not to desire it so much and instead actually enjoy the little steps, the process of getting there and I think you’re going to have not only an easier time to get to your goal but a more enjoyable time to get to your goal.

And I hope whatever it is that you do get there, you know? There’s times where I definitely feel discouraged and think that I’m never going to get out of this hole that I’m in right now, there’s debt, there’s health bills, there’s things I want to afford for Jet and all of these things that do come to mind but if I focused on that so much I wouldn’t be present for him, and I wouldn’t be present for myself or for you guys, for example.

I don’t think I would be putting my best or most quality work out there if I was just so focused on the end goal. I hope that made sense, that was a lot of rambling, so I apologize.

But alright that was it guys! If you have any questions connect with me at motherhoodhappened.com where you can find all the links to my social media pages. Please reach out to me if you have any questions or stories you want to share on this podcast.

Don’t forget to sign up for my Free 7-Day mindfulness challenge where I challenge you to reprogram your mind to see how a shift in your mindset can really make a difference.

You also can get exclusive access to other free materials while you’re there. I would love your support, if you can subscribe, share, rate, and review, tell me what you like and even what you didn’t like wherever you hear your podcast, I would so appreciate it. Thank you so much for listening, until next time.

This post contains affiliate links. For more information, see my disclosures here. 

Repin this link on the new Motherhood Happened Podcast! #motherhoodhappened #podcast #podcasting #howtopodcast #mindfulnesspodcast #momlife #meditation #mindfulliving

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Hi there, friend! I'm Mary and I'm delighted you came across my blog! I take joy in connecting, and sharing my experiences with others to provide value to anyone I can. My story is a rough one but it is also one that turned positive and I hope it can help others. We may cry, we may laugh but what I can guarantee is growth. I write about food, fitness, mindfulness, self-awareness, and overall things I have learned to become the best version of myself.

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✨So you are ready to change. You have the discip ✨So you are ready to change. You have the discipline, you have the motivation, you have your goals, you know what you have to do. However, you begin to realize the people around you are not happy with the changes you have made or about to make. ⁣
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✨This happens more often than you think. Others are so used to you being a certain way so when that begins to change they begin to push back. It may not be ill intentioned but it does happen. ⁣
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✨Acknowledge that there may be pushback, be prepared for it, and keep pushing towards your goals. People adjust and if people do not adjust to your change, do not allow that to stop you from your path of bettering yourself. You know what is best for you, be confident in that. ⁣
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✨I felt like the biggest failure when the father ✨I felt like the biggest failure when the father of my child and I separated. It was a really rough part of my life and I went through some of the hardest moments of my life. ⁣
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✨There was such a huge sense of failure I just could not shake. The relationship ended because of some issues he had to deal with as an individual but I could not help but continuously blame myself. ⁣
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✨I felt like I failed as a partner, I failed as a mother, I failed to keep my family together, I felt like I failed at life. ⁣
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✨It took a while to detach myself from that kind of thinking but it was liberating when I finally did. ⁣
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✨Just because the relationship was broken, it does not mean you are broken (even though sometimes it feels like it), just because the relationship failed it does NOT mean you are a failure. ⁣
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✨Detach your identity from the experience you went through. Seek professional help if needed, but please debunk your own thought, you are not a failure. Pick yourself up and take the lessons from the relationship.
✨Sometimes things are unclear in a relationship. ✨Sometimes things are unclear in a relationship. Sometimes there is a miscommunication. Maybe you are in a middle spot between dating and exclusivity. ⁣
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✨I know there are times I have felt insecure about asking for clarification. Sometimes you can feel nervous to ask about where you stand. Sometimes things are unclear when there is an argument. ⁣
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✨You shouldn't feel "needy" or "too much" when asking to clarify something. Many times issues come about when we do not ask for clarification. ⁣
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✨Ask questions in your relationships. If you are unsure about something, ask! We are curious beings, it is okay to question things for knowledge, peace of mind, and or safety.⁣
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Let me know below if you have dealt with feeling "needy" asking for clarification! ❤
✨Can we normalize celebrating ourselves without ✨Can we normalize celebrating ourselves without seeming like we are full of ourselves? Why is that seen as being of ourselves anyway? ⁣
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✨You should be proud of your accomplishments. This world is freaking tough at times, and the fact that you are not only surviving but SUCCEEDING (whatever success means to you) is amazing and should be celebrated!⁣
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✨No waiting for others to celebrate you, celebrate yourself! 💃
✨Not feeling good about yourself stems from mult ✨Not feeling good about yourself stems from multiple areas. For me, it is often picking my body apart. ⁣
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✨I have some loose skin from my pregnancy, I have discoloration or hyperpigmentation in some areas, and yes I ABSOLUTELY have cellulite. Oh yeah I forgot to add dealing with acne at times (frustrating!) ⁣
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✨I would be lying if I said those things do not bother me. They do at times. They do the times I focus on them and focus on them with a lens of negativity. ⁣
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✨These things do not make me more or less of a worthy individual and that is what I have to keep in mind. ⁣
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✨We have to do a better job valuing ourselves and that includes valuing our bodies too. My skin protects me from so much yet I find myself often mad at it. ⁣
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✨My skin, my body, my appearance do NOT make me or you worthy as an individual.
✨Caring what others think feels like my identity ✨Caring what others think feels like my identity at times because it feels like I have always allowed what others say and think affect me. But it's not my identity nor is it yours. ⁣
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✨You do NOT have to allow what others think or say affect you. It is easier said than done, trust me I get it. ⁣
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✨However, I do think there are small steps we can do to start. Let's get to know ourselves better. ⁣
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✨I believe the times we struggle are the times we are most disconnected with ourselves. ⁣
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✨Keep your values in mind, know or learn your interests and be confident about them, and last but definitely not least is to become comfortable without all the noise. Sitting in silence alone is probably the scariest but most peaceful things I get to do. Spend some time with yourself. ⁣
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Let me know down in the comments if you agree! ❤
We often think we have to one thing or the other. We often think we have to one thing or the other. We don't. You can be amazing right at this moment AND still be a work in progress. You can be caring AND selfish. You can be a multitude of things. ⁣
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Don't allow yourself or others to place you into a box of rigidness. ⁣
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✨You won't thrive in rigidness. ⁣
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Get comfortable with having dualities or having different elements and parts to you. We are not ONE thing, we are ALL things and that is okay. ⁣
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I know there are times I catch myself invalidating my experiences of being hopeful for example because my anxieties kick through and I am being cautious about the same thing. I shouldn't downplay my moments of hope (which is super important) because I am also incredibly scared. I can be hopeful and scared. ⁣
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Learning to flow between two spaces and accepting both spaces creates moments of being content. Allow yourself the permission to experience all things and be all things. Don't let others tell you otherwise. ⁣
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❤ What are some dualities you have experienced recently? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!
If you felt lonely and not good enough in 2020, le If you felt lonely and not good enough in 2020, lets start the year with a different mindset. ⁣
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You ARE worthy. You ARE worthy of love. You ARE enough. ⁣
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If you have to repeat it to yourself 20 times a day, do so because it is the truth.⁣
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I know there are moments of loneliness and defeat where it does not feel true but know that it is. Your sense of worthiness must come from within, no one will ever fill that void for you. ⁣
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No one "worthy" will find you worthy if you do not begin valuing yourself. ⁣
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You got this! ⁣
Remember you are special too.⁣ Remember you are special too.⁣
You absolutely can and will. Believe that, work, a You absolutely can and will. Believe that, work, and see how things change. ⁣
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You got this!⁣
We often view being productive as something we sho We often view being productive as something we should aspire to be every single day. I know many of us feel bad or guilty when we are not what we usually deem to be productive. ⁣
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It is okay to relax. It is okay to get absolutely nothing accomplished today. There is a balance to life. There is room for productivity and room to relax. Make space for both and do not feel guilty about it. ⁣

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#treatyourselfwell # #youareworthy #singlemomlife #singlemom #singleparent #singlemother #singlemomstrong #selfcarequotes #selflovetips #selflovefirst #womenempoweringwomen
I think we often forget this. People are not alway I think we often forget this. People are not always going to agree with us. It is okay for us to not like that feeling. We want to be understood, and we want others to agree with us. ⁣
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However, both being kind and disagreeing with someone can exist together. ⁣
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With family and friend gatherings (whether in person or through zoom) comes debates and disagreements in regard to many things. ⁣
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Shifting our perspective to appreciating disagreements instead of disliking them could help manage our feelings better in the moments of disagreements. ⁣
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Have an amazing day!⁣
We compare ourselves to others often, especially d We compare ourselves to others often, especially during the holidays. We can be happy for others while also being a bit down that we don't have that certain thing. Maybe it is a pregnancy, an engagement, a new home, or even a new job. ⁣
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Whatever it is know that just because someone else currently has it or is experiencing it, that in itself does NOT mean you can not experience it one day. ⁣
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I know it is difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel sometimes but do not give up, be patient, and continue working towards your goals and desires. ⁣
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You got this girl!⁣
I think most families can relate to something on t I think most families can relate to something on this list. Families are not perfect nor will they ever be but that does not mean you should not stand up for yourself when something does not sit well with you.⁣
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You don't want to make things awkward, don't want to disrupt or bother? ⁣
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I get it, I think the same way. I am the pleaser, the peacemaker. ⁣
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But as I learn more and grow I am realizing how important it is to stick up for myself. ⁣
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If a question or comment bothers you, speak on it. It is okay to have feelings and have your feelings heard if you so choose. ⁣
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Of course, there are respectful and healthy ways of communicating but DO NOT dismiss your feelings or your desire to be your own advocate. ⁣
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I know it is harder to do with loved ones because frankly, loved ones are the ones that hurt us the most because we care so much about what they think and say. ⁣
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That said, be really conscious and perhaps practice responses before the holiday party. I think we usually know what others are going to pick at us for because it usually is the same thing over and over again. Practice sticking up for yourself, you got this!
Families do not all look the same. We have differe Families do not all look the same. We have different kinds of relationships that may not be "picture perfect" and that is okay. Especially during these times many jump to the assumption that we all have "normal" families (whatever that means). ⁣
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But we are complex people and with that comes complex relationships with one another. Don't be ashamed for not having the relationship people expect you to have. ⁣
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If you want to work on these relationships then great but if you do not want to that's alright too. Don't let others shame you for not having a great relationship with a parent, a sibling, being separated and having a coparenting relationship, whatever is "out of the norm."⁣
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Protect your soul and know that no one family is perfect.
Believe this to be true, because it is. There are Believe this to be true, because it is. There are moments we feel like we can not go on because we are not good enough, smart enough, or strong enough. ⁣
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But you are. Do NOT quit and keep going. This hardship is not going to last forever even though it may seem like it presently. Everything comes to end whether it is good or bad. ⁣
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Know that you ARE strong enough to handle the day, you got this! If I have to keep reminding you that you are ... I will :) ⁣
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Love, Mary ❤
Your mindset has such a MASSIVE influence on how y Your mindset has such a MASSIVE influence on how your day goes. Yes, there are outside influences or external reasons for our days to go to shit (I definitely know this haha) but really taking advantage of the things we do have control over (our minds) can be tremendous. ⁣
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Start this week having a positive mindset and see how your perspective affects your day. Our minds are powerful, let's care for them and use them well! You got this!⁣
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Love, Mary ❤
With the holiday season comes family times and it With the holiday season comes family times and it is usually presented or known as a positive and beautiful time, which it can be. But that is not the case for everyone. ⁣
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Coming together may mean facing uncomfortable realities or truths we may not be ready to deal with or forgive yet. ⁣
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I think many of us also think we have forgiven a situation or a person when we really have not. (I definitely have!) ⁣
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It is not an easy task to accomplish but with some time and work it can be done. ⁣
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Which one resonates with you the most? ⁣
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Love, Mary ❤
Taking care of yourself as a mom is at times diffi Taking care of yourself as a mom is at times difficult if I am honest. We are so used to putting our little ones or even other adults before us. It comes naturally to us. ⁣
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With that said, I do think it is CRUCIAL to take care of ourselves as moms especially because others rely on us but we are individuals too that ALSO need caring!⁣
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These 4 ways to take care of yourself as a mom are things we would prioritize for kids, so let's prioritize it for us too!⁣
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⭐Nourishing our bodies: eating foods to energize us and treat our bodies well ⁣
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⭐Practice good sleep hygiene: create a nighttime routine you can stick to and is realistic in order to get the peaceful sleep you need every night⁣
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⭐Heal emotionally: take care of your emotional health, many times we have no idea how much this affects our lives subconsciously or subliminally ⁣
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⭐Build and sustain relationships: making new relationships and sustaining old ones are super important. As humans we need one another, relationships are incredibly important to us. Making sure to set aside some time to foster those will aid in taking care of yourself. ⁣
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What are some additional ways you take care of yourself? Let me know!!⁣
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Love, Mary ❤
How to get over a breakup fast, is it possible?! ⁣
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New YouTube video is now live. I react to one of @tatycokley videos which is amazing! I love her spirit in this video but I break down her tips on moving forward after a break up. ⁣

Link in bio.
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How fast do you think one can move past or get over a breakup?? ⁣
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#breakupssucks #breakupmotivation #breakupstatus #breakupadvice #breakupcoach #breakuprecovery #breakupthoughts #breakupsarehard #breakupstory #breakups #reactionsvideos #reactionvideo #reactionvids #youtubecommunity #youtubelife #howtogetoverabreakup #gettingoverhim #gettingoverabreakup #movingontobetterthings
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