I have been separated from PJ for over a year now. It has actually been really nice to be alone in the manner I have been. I have learned an incredible amount about myself and about others around me. I have no regrets, only eternal gratitude when it comes to our separation. Without going through that heartbreak, I would have never found myself or perhaps not this early in life. However, let me make this clear I am not … I REPEAT … NOT ready to move on to someone else. Frankly, I don’t think I will ever want to.
I am open to casually date and meet new people as friends but in no way am I anywhere near ready to be in an exclusive committed relationship. My mind is just not there and that’s okay.
In saying that, I know I must get out of my comfort zone of my home and go out and interact with adults besides my family. Knowing this, I brought up the subject of speed dating randomly to my sisters and cousins. When I expressed the idea aloud I was not aware if speed dating was even still a thing. I have seen it in movies but is it something people really do in present day real life?
Apparently, people do, and I am now one of those people. I googled “Orlando speed dating” and I was directed to multiple sites. I chose one company hosting the event at a venue, chose the date and time that worked for me, bought my ticket and there I was looking at the confirmation page thinking, “what the heck did I just do?’
I was soooo nervous when I was walking up to the venue. I am not a fan of people looking at me, giving me attention, being in a space where I do not know anyone, nor am I a fan of small talk. But I put my best face on, combated all of those things (like a champ if I must say : ) while also having a good time.
The first guy I chatted with was kind and made me feel comfortable, but I was still extremely nervous. Both of us were but it got easier with every guy. I do not really have anything negative to say about the experience. The only thing I can think of is at times I felt a bit robotic. I couldn’t remember if I was repeating myself to the same person because all asked many of the same questions. There was some confusion at certain moments nonetheless, everyone I spoke to was amazingly kind, and honestly as the time went on I just had fun with it. I didn’t take myself so seriously. I started asking some deep, fun questions and I met some interesting people.
I connected with about two guys out of the nine I spoke to. I connected extremely well with one of those two; it was easy to talk to him, it was a natural conversation. It was nice to know that I can still connect with others, that I am still attractive and desired by others. That confidence and security will grow in time, I am not 100% there yet.
I wanted to write this quick post to let you know that if you have been divorced, separated, or you simply want to meet new people to get out of your comfort zone and try something new! It may or may not be speed dating but try something that is out of your element. I did not think I was going to enjoy myself at all, I thought I was going to be a hot nervous mess, and it ended up being a freeing experience. I challenged myself and realized it really didn’t matter. Shy about what? Nervous for what? Doubting myself why? Go out there and be you. It’s all you have.