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How to Support a New Mom

04/5/2017

Repin this article on how to support a new mom! #mom #momblogger #mommyblogger #baby #mothers #pregnancy #newmom #tips #motherhoodhappened

Coming home from the hospital and being a new mom is a time where LOTS of changes are happening. I will mention some things I found or would have found helpful from others around me.

1. Do not make judgments or suggestions unless asked.

If a baby is in danger for some reason, of course voice your opinion because the new mom may not know or recognize there is danger but if it is an unnecessary comment, leave it alone. New moms are judging and criticizing themselves more than you know already, having loved ones do it too will not help. She may just snap at you : )

2. Make sure new mommy is eating and drinking lots of water.

This is crucial if mommy is breastfeeding since she needs to be nourished so she can nourish baby. Even if she is not breastfeeding though, this is still important because she needs the energy to keep up with the changes of sleep pattern and to stay awake as best she can! Do not rely on her to keep track of her eating. Naturally, she will get so involved with baby and completely forget it has been hours since she ate or drank something.

The best thing anyone could have done for me, even now honestly, is say “Mary go sit down and eat, I will watch Jet.” That is music to my ears, you have no idea. Before Jet I took for granted eating in total peace, no interruptions. That will probably be one of the first things that will hit a new mommy right in the face. So please, do her the simple favor of watching the baby while she eats a complete meal full of good foods and water.

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3. Accept her for whatever her goals are.

For me breastfeeding was and still is extremely important. PJ knew my goal was to breastfeed for at least one year then hopefully go beyond one year. I was blessed to be able to reach my goal and I currently still breastfeed but it helps when your partner and loved ones accept your goals. I started training after I got clearance from my doctors 6 weeks after giving birth yet it was not my priority and PJ knew that. He understood that I was not going to look like I once did quickly.

I remember I told him give me a year and watch that will be “me” time. I still trained whenever I could but there were many times where I could not because of something breastfeeding related. For example, I did not have any pumped milk stored and Jet took a shorter nap than I thought or he was going through a growth spurt.

There were times PJ did not understand how important breastfeeding is to me and I think it would have made things easier for us as a couple if he did. I do believe it all clicks for him now. He understands why I dedicated myself for a full year to give Jet the best I could even though that meant my training goals were knocked down a bit on the priority list.

On the other hand, perhaps a new mom is feeding her baby formula (which is great, fed is best!) and her goals are to lose weight and attain her pre-pregnancy body as an example. If that is the case, support that too. If she wants to wait to go back to work or go straight to work, support her. As new mothers, we want to be able to do everything and be super woman so she may not ask for help or support, just give it to her.

4. Love her new body.

This goes along with the idea of acceptance in #3 above. Truly love her regardless of what body she currently has. She gave birth to a small human being; do you realize how amazing that is when you really think about it?! Some women are blessed to snap back in weeks, but majority of us are not able to do that. Keep in mind, it took 9 or 10 months to end this stage of her body growing in all types of ways, don’t you think it is reasonable to at least expect that same time to let her return to a body she is comfortable with? It may take longer than 9 or 10 months which is fine too but be patient, plus she should not be losing the weight for you but for herself and baby. Do not rush her, it is just wrong.

Even though PJ has a fitness background thankfully he was understanding and patient with me for the most part. He genuinely loves me and knew I would get back to my goals with time. I remember there were months I was feeling very insecure and I would cover up or not let him see me naked under certain lights and he told me to just stop, he said he loves me, he loves my body, and covering it up is not helping anything.

He told me that he finds it more attractive when I don’t cover up and not worry about what I look like so much. That was significant to me because although I felt like a squishy slob he wanted to see my body, he loved me for me and honestly did not care. Then again, he is the kind of man that loves me the most in the morning with my swollen eyes, all my freckles, and my morning breath, he’s the best 🙂

Ladies, just be confident! Appreciate the body you have, it is an amazing body and trust that your partner loves you regardless of what you may think he/she thinks. He/she loves you more than you realize.

5. Treat her to something unexpected.

It doesn’t have to be out of the house if you are not able to. It does not have to be something grand either. I enjoy starting the day by making the bed therefore, I was usually the one to make our bed. There were times however when PJ would beat me to it and when I walked in our room to make it I was so surprised. It brought a smile to my face and relieved me of some built up stress. It sounds silly but the tiny surprises will mean a lot to a new mommy. It could be dinner, folding laundry, changing baby’s diaper, setting up a nice bath for her (the best!), whatever small task you can take over will mean the world to her. Trust me.

As always, thank you so much for reading! If I provided value to you and you want to support my work, please head over to my Patreon here. For $5 a month you can directly help me continue providing content for you! 

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Hi there, friend! I'm Mary and I'm delighted you came across my blog! I take joy in connecting, and sharing my experiences with others to provide value to anyone I can. My story is a rough one but it is also one that turned positive and I hope it can help others. We may cry, we may laugh but what I can guarantee is growth. I write about food, fitness, mindfulness, self-awareness, and overall things I have learned to become the best version of myself.

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If you felt lonely and not good enough in 2020, le If you felt lonely and not good enough in 2020, lets start the year with a different mindset. ⁣
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You ARE worthy. You ARE worthy of love. You ARE enough. ⁣
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If you have to repeat it to yourself 20 times a day, do so because it is the truth.⁣
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I know there are moments of loneliness and defeat where it does not feel true but know that it is. Your sense of worthiness must come from within, no one will ever fill that void for you. ⁣
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No one "worthy" will find you worthy if you do not begin valuing yourself. ⁣
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You got this! ⁣
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Love, Mary ❤
Remember you are special too.⁣
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Love, Mary ❤
You absolutely can and will. Believe that, work, a You absolutely can and will. Believe that, work, and see how things change. ⁣
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You got this!⁣
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Love, Mary ❤
We often view being productive as something we sho We often view being productive as something we should aspire to be every single day. I know many of us feel bad or guilty when we are not what we usually deem to be productive. ⁣
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It is okay to relax. It is okay to get absolutely nothing accomplished today. There is a balance to life. There is room for productivity and room to relax. Make space for both and do not feel guilty about it. ⁣
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Love, Mary ❤⁣
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#treatyourselfwell # #youareworthy #singlemomlife #singlemom #singleparent #singlemother #singlemomstrong #selfcarequotes #selflovetips #selflovefirst #womenempoweringwomen
I think we often forget this. People are not alway I think we often forget this. People are not always going to agree with us. It is okay for us to not like that feeling. We want to be understood, and we want others to agree with us. ⁣
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However, both being kind and disagreeing with someone can exist together. ⁣
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With family and friend gatherings (whether in person or through zoom) comes debates and disagreements in regard to many things. ⁣
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Shifting our perspective to appreciating disagreements instead of disliking them could help manage our feelings better in the moments of disagreements. ⁣
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Have an amazing day!⁣
Love, Mary ❤
We compare ourselves to others often, especially d We compare ourselves to others often, especially during the holidays. We can be happy for others while also being a bit down that we don't have that certain thing. Maybe it is a pregnancy, an engagement, a new home, or even a new job. ⁣
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Whatever it is know that just because someone else currently has it or is experiencing it, that in itself does NOT mean you can not experience it one day. ⁣
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I know it is difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel sometimes but do not give up, be patient, and continue working towards your goals and desires. ⁣
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You got this girl!⁣
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Love, Mary ❤
I think most families can relate to something on t I think most families can relate to something on this list. Families are not perfect nor will they ever be but that does not mean you should not stand up for yourself when something does not sit well with you.⁣
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You don't want to make things awkward, don't want to disrupt or bother? ⁣
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I get it, I think the same way. I am the pleaser, the peacemaker. ⁣
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But as I learn more and grow I am realizing how important it is to stick up for myself. ⁣
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If a question or comment bothers you, speak on it. It is okay to have feelings and have your feelings heard if you so choose. ⁣
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Of course, there are respectful and healthy ways of communicating but DO NOT dismiss your feelings or your desire to be your own advocate. ⁣
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I know it is harder to do with loved ones because frankly, loved ones are the ones that hurt us the most because we care so much about what they think and say. ⁣
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That said, be really conscious and perhaps practice responses before the holiday party. I think we usually know what others are going to pick at us for because it usually is the same thing over and over again. Practice sticking up for yourself, you got this!
Families do not all look the same. We have differe Families do not all look the same. We have different kinds of relationships that may not be "picture perfect" and that is okay. Especially during these times many jump to the assumption that we all have "normal" families (whatever that means). ⁣
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But we are complex people and with that comes complex relationships with one another. Don't be ashamed for not having the relationship people expect you to have. ⁣
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If you want to work on these relationships then great but if you do not want to that's alright too. Don't let others shame you for not having a great relationship with a parent, a sibling, being separated and having a coparenting relationship, whatever is "out of the norm."⁣
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Protect your soul and know that no one family is perfect.
Believe this to be true, because it is. There are Believe this to be true, because it is. There are moments we feel like we can not go on because we are not good enough, smart enough, or strong enough. ⁣
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But you are. Do NOT quit and keep going. This hardship is not going to last forever even though it may seem like it presently. Everything comes to end whether it is good or bad. ⁣
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Know that you ARE strong enough to handle the day, you got this! If I have to keep reminding you that you are ... I will :) ⁣
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Love, Mary ❤
Your mindset has such a MASSIVE influence on how y Your mindset has such a MASSIVE influence on how your day goes. Yes, there are outside influences or external reasons for our days to go to shit (I definitely know this haha) but really taking advantage of the things we do have control over (our minds) can be tremendous. ⁣
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Start this week having a positive mindset and see how your perspective affects your day. Our minds are powerful, let's care for them and use them well! You got this!⁣
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Love, Mary ❤
With the holiday season comes family times and it With the holiday season comes family times and it is usually presented or known as a positive and beautiful time, which it can be. But that is not the case for everyone. ⁣
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Coming together may mean facing uncomfortable realities or truths we may not be ready to deal with or forgive yet. ⁣
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I think many of us also think we have forgiven a situation or a person when we really have not. (I definitely have!) ⁣
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It is not an easy task to accomplish but with some time and work it can be done. ⁣
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Which one resonates with you the most? ⁣
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Love, Mary ❤
Taking care of yourself as a mom is at times diffi Taking care of yourself as a mom is at times difficult if I am honest. We are so used to putting our little ones or even other adults before us. It comes naturally to us. ⁣
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With that said, I do think it is CRUCIAL to take care of ourselves as moms especially because others rely on us but we are individuals too that ALSO need caring!⁣
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These 4 ways to take care of yourself as a mom are things we would prioritize for kids, so let's prioritize it for us too!⁣
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⭐Nourishing our bodies: eating foods to energize us and treat our bodies well ⁣
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⭐Practice good sleep hygiene: create a nighttime routine you can stick to and is realistic in order to get the peaceful sleep you need every night⁣
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⭐Heal emotionally: take care of your emotional health, many times we have no idea how much this affects our lives subconsciously or subliminally ⁣
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⭐Build and sustain relationships: making new relationships and sustaining old ones are super important. As humans we need one another, relationships are incredibly important to us. Making sure to set aside some time to foster those will aid in taking care of yourself. ⁣
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What are some additional ways you take care of yourself? Let me know!!⁣
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Love, Mary ❤
How to get over a breakup fast, is it possible?! ⁣
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New YouTube video is now live. I react to one of @tatycokley videos which is amazing! I love her spirit in this video but I break down her tips on moving forward after a break up. ⁣

Link in bio.
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How fast do you think one can move past or get over a breakup?? ⁣
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Feeling exhausted? I hear you. We get so exhausted Feeling exhausted? I hear you. We get so exhausted at times to the point where our minds become completely irrational and we want to totally give in and GIVE UP. ⁣
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But DON'T.⁣
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I know it is tough, I know it is not easy, I know you are tired. Take a break. Do something you enjoy or simply rest for a bit but do NOT give up. ⁣
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In the moment we naturally want to protect our bodies and soul so we think the best way to do that is to completely give up the tasks.⁣
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Not always true. ⁣
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Sometimes we need to give our bodies and mind a break so we can be recharged and inspired again. Avoid burn out, take a break, then push forward. ⁣
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You got this girl! ❤❤❤
Positive coparenting is possible! Definitely not a Positive coparenting is possible! Definitely not an easy task ... AT ALL. But with work, patience, and empathy it can be done well. ⁣
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What is the hardest thing you find with coparenting? ⁣
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Like & share if you agree! ❤
Who goes first? I had this conversation with my th Who goes first? I had this conversation with my therapist a few weeks ago and it stuck with me. Naturally I think as moms you want your kids to go first and we end up putting ourselves last, not even second on the priority list. ⁣
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Why can't both come first? I pondered on this for a while but it started making sense to me. Of course in the extreme of life and death my kiddo without question is coming first. Extremes asides, I am getting used to the idea of prioritizing myself just as I would my son. I do not think it is a bad thing, I am beginning to see the benefits of doing so.⁣
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I find that we have an easier and more organized day ⁣
when I am taking care of myself too. I have a better attitude, I have more energy, I feel more accomplished, more patient, and I am more present. ⁣
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It is difficult to adjust if it is not something you are used to but I do think it is important to do. ⁣
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What do you think? Do you think both can go first?
Don't want to get up? Feeling hopeless of what you Don't want to get up? Feeling hopeless of what you can accomplish today? Having a difficult time seeing that you can attain the full picture? I get it, I have been there and honestly I have days where I am STILL there. But what helps me move is the idea of setting myself up. ⁣
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Setting myself up to be #financiallyindependent is a HUGE motivation for me. I have to put in the work to get there. Being a single there is no other option but to be financially independent. I know the work I put in today, I will thank myself for later. ⁣
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Set yourself up, you got this girl!! ⁣
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#independentwomen #independentwomenquotes #independentsinglemom #momworkinghard #momhustle #momhustler #setyourselffree #setyourselfupforsuccess #motivationwall #motivationalcoach #motivationtoday #motivationtosucceed #motivationtosuccess #inspiredliving #mombloggersofig #momblogs #momblogtribe #mombloginfluence #momblogging #mombloglove #mombloggerlife #mombloggercommunity #mombloggerstribe #momblogger #mombloggersunited #lifecoachingforwomen #lifecoachinghappiness #lifecoachesofinstagram #lifecoachnetwork ⁣
A mental shift is what we need a lot of the time. A mental shift is what we need a lot of the time. We often believe our thoughts to be true when they may not be factual in the slightest. A tiny shift can make the biggest difference in your choices and the outcome of your tomorrow. ⁣
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Which one resonates with you? Tag someone you think needs to read this!
🎥 New YouTube is out! I reacted to a @roommates 🎥 New YouTube is out! I reacted to a @roommateshtx clip I found really interesting about the idea of a super woman. It may be an unpopular opinion but it is something I ponder on often. ⁣
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Link in bio⁣
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#unpopularopinions #unpopular #reactionvideos #reactionvideo #reactionvids #womenempowerwomen #womenempowered #feminism #feminist #feminineenergy #youtubing #youtubevlogger #supportwomen #supportwomeninbusiness #superwomen #theroommatespodcast #singlemen #openmind #openminded
Don't be so hard on yourself. Not everything in pa Don't be so hard on yourself. Not everything in parenthood is going to be absolutely perfect especially if you don't have help or are a #singlemom ⁣
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If you need a break and pop a pizza in the oven do so comfortably! (By the way I recently tried @eatbanza new frozen pizza and it was AMAZING if you want to try with your kiddos :) ⁣
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Point is, stop stressing. If you need a break, take it. Ordering in or serving frozen food does NOT lower your value as a mother, or as a human being. Be kind to yourself today!
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